Shoe fix?
The other one is getting a kiss as soon as it comes in the mail.
Forgive me if I stu-stutter
From all of the clutter in my head
Cause I could fall asleep in those eyes
Like a water bed
From all of the clutter in my head
Cause I could fall asleep in those eyes
Like a water bed
“
Lent Challenge
This Lenten season I’m changing it up. I’m challenging myself and I expect to keep at it. This challenge includes giving up:
eating rice, drinking coffee bean, drinking starbucks, eating junk food, eating fish, but most importantly, being a bad person.
I want to be less:
1. manipulative
2. narcissistic
3. negative
4. judgmental
5. of a dream killer
6. insincere
7. disrespectful
8. selfish
So let’s start now & kick it off with a nice smile :)
Why I am doing this?
I’ve been so nostalgic!
Yesterday, I spent a good 3 hours rereading my old diaries dating back to 2005-2006. It almost brought me to tears as I sat there remembering the “good old days” when drama consisted of never getting my dream boy and my fighting with bitch friends. I must’ve been such a troubled child.. cause I wrote about my life a lot. Hah, a lot, a lot.
Haha, It seems like every entry in my diary had at least something to say about my NUMBER ONE CRUSH, MY NUMBER ONE LOVE, David Brill. God. I was really one crazy admirer. Just read the first few pages..You’ll laugh cause It’s really funny. You’ll almost instantly get annoyed by my pathetic David Brill obsession and for that I’m sorry and am embarrassed.
Dave, If you read them, you’ll see how very much “in love” I was with you. I have here a few examples. Hope they don’t freak you out. Cause ya know, I was a freak… a freak in love.
Exhibit A:
” His name… the best name ever.. I loved him. His name was David. David Brill. David is sweet and caring and always made me laugh..”
— introducing you to my journal (‘05)
Exhibit B:
“So I picked out my outfit for the pictures we’ll take this Friday. Hope it looks good. Hope David thinks it’s sexy.”
— asdfjkhakdslfh Oh God. -_- Hope you thought so. lmfaooooo (‘05)
Exhibit C:
“FYI, THE BOY WAS MY FCKING LIFE.. Don’t tell me how I feel because trust me, I already know! And don’t, DON’T tell me that it’s best that I know the truth instead of being freaking led on for the rest of my life! HONESTLY, I’d rather be led on and HAPPY than having my journal be my only one true friend!”
— after finding out from my friends that you don’t see me in that way. lol. (‘06)
Exhibit D:
” P.S. Journal, sorry for baptizing you with my tears tonight.. I can’t sleep without thinking about him. I gtg… it’s already 5:30 am. “
— writing about you til 5 in the morning (‘06)
Exhibit E:
” I accompanied my brother to his choir thing for mass on Sunday. From the choir loft, i saw him.. I saw David sitting at the front of the church. I couldn’t help but stare at him.. When mass ended, I ran to him and gave him a tight hug!! It wasn’t just a hug, it was a squeeze! That night I talked to him on the phone! And.. you know me.. I became a little shy.. we ended up talking til about ONE in the morning…. :)”
— HAHA! Aww. (‘06)
Again, I am a freak.
Lol, it’s funny cause for years I wrote about my “love” to you. & it’s also funny cause I stopped around the time you actually started showing some feelings back. It’s a real shame that I never once got to write about you becoming my bf though. So if anyone ever happens to come upon my journal in the far far future.. sadly, they’ll never know.
I love you Dave. Did this for you.
